Invincible You with Dr. Alex Avila

ELECTION ANXIETY: DO YOU HAVE IT AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?

Do you have election anxiety—stress and worry about how a political outcome will affect your life? The election in the US has taken place and millions of people are experiencing a variety of emotions—from hope to despair; from confidence and optimism to worry and fear.  Some people become so emotionally identified with their preferred candidate or party that they think their personal self-worth or self-esteem is riding on an election outcome. On our Love University podcast, we went into the community to ask people their thoughts and feelings about the election, and we received a fascinating variety of opinions. Here are three things that can help if you’re experiencing election anxiety:

*Limit your political media consumption. Although it’s good to stay informed, many people go overboard and spend too much time watching the news and feeling anxious about it. To counteract this, set boundaries for how much time you will spend checking political news (1 hour etc.), and take breaks from election coverage. In this way, you will refresh your mind and see things from a different perspective.

 *Focus on what you can control. You may feel that election results are a big thing that you can’t control—and you may start feeling helpless about it. The solution is to stay active. Stay informed, volunteer, and have meaningful conversations about policy and issues with people who care about those things. It’s true: The more active you are, the better you will feel.

*Practice mindfulness and relaxation. You can reduce stress and improve your emotional control by focusing on the present moment.  Try this exercise: Spend ten to fifteen minutes each day imagining a beautiful scene as you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. For example, if you visualize that you’re on a beach, imagine the sounds you hear (waves crashing), what you see (beautiful blue sky and ocean), what you smell (the smell of coconut oil), and the emotions you feel (peace and relaxation). Do this daily, and you will be more centered, and at peace.

Election time and the period afterward can be stressful in some people’s lives. The good news is that you can maintain peace and relaxation by taking care of your physical and emotional needs. It’s also important to extend loving energy without expectation. Love yourself, others, and a higher nature, and you will be in a much better place.

Special Announcement: Meet Dr. Avila live for a remarkable evening of conversation and networking: “Riches without Limits: Invincible You.” The free talk is being held on 11/10/24 at 7:00pm at the Brea Civic and Community Center, Community Room A (upstairs, 2^nd floor).  Reserve your seat now while they last:  bit.ly/3Yich6g  

INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS: WHY SOCIAL ENERGY CAN MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP

Are you in an Introvert-Extrovert relationship? Maybe you’re the Introvert—you get energy more from your own thoughts—and your partner is the outgoing, Extraverted type.  If you don’t understand each other, you may clash. Or, you could be an Extroverted woman with an Introverted man, which can be a challenging combination based on research. In our enlightening Love University podcast, love personality expert, Dr. Avila (Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate: Avila, Alexander: 9780380800148: Amazon.com: Books), delves into the world of Introversion and Extroversion in dating, love, and relationships. He reveals important tips on how to thrive in various personality love combinations, as follows:

*Introverts and Extroverts have different needs for social energy. Introverts often like to stay home while Extroverts like to go out. Key to success: Extroverts, respect your Introverts need for “alone/quiet time,” while Introverts be OK with giving your Extrovert a boy’s/girl’s night out.

*Introverts like to listen; Extroverts like to talk.  Although Introverts like to talk at times and Extroverts can listen, it’s usually the Extrovert doing the majority of the talking. In this case, each partner needs to appreciate the other’s style (Extroverts listen to Introverts; Introverts let your Extrovert enjoy their talking time).

*Extrovert women and Introvert men can have challenges. Research shows that Extrovert women have the most problem with Introvert men in the areas of chores, finances, hobbies, communication and sex. If they don’t respect each other’s style, they will attack each other (“Why don’t you speak up?” “Can you be quiet for once?”).

The key of harmony in relationships is to appreciate and respect each other’s unique personality style (LoveType). When partners do this, almost any combination can work—two Introverts or two Extroverts together; or an Introvert/Extrovert combination. Respect and mutual appreciation for each other’s personality difference can work wonders in a relationship

Special Announcement: Meet Dr. Avila live for a remarkable evening of conversation and networking: “Riches without Limits: Invincible You.” The free talk is being held on 11/10/24 at 7:00pm at the Brea Civic and Community Center.  Reserve your seat now while they last:  bit.ly/3Yich6g  

FIND YOUR SOUL MATE AT THE DATING MASQUERADE: DR. AVILA REVEALS HIS REVOLUTIONARY LOVETYPE SYSTEM, PART 1

DIVORCE AND SELF-LOVE: HOW TO BE CONSCIOUSLY HAPPY WITH THE IMPERFECT YOU, WITH KARL DUNN, INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED MENTAL HEALTH DIVORCE EXPERT

On our Love University podcast, we had an enlightening interview with Karl Dunn, an expert on same-sex divorce and mental health issues related to divorce. Karl recounted the lessons learned from his own marriage/divorce and how “his marriage didn’t make him whole, but his divorce did.”   Here is some of the useful advice he shared for how to have a healthy divorce:

*Be aware of the friend filter. Karl identifies three types of friends during divorce: Friends who are on your side no matter what, friends who care about you, but don’t want to be around your divorce (it brings up their own trauma), and “binge divorce watchers” who are hungry for the gruesome details for their own entertainment (the worst kind).

*Keep an emotional diary:  As you go through your divorce, keep a diary in which you write down what triggers your sadness or anger (e.g. email from an attorney or your ex), why you feel that way, and what the Universe is telling you about the best way to respond.

*Expectations will kill you—kill expectations.  The key to getting out whole on the other side of divorce is to minimize your expectations of what is just, fair, or equitable. Hire the best lawyer if you need to, prepare all of your documents, and see a therapist if you want more support. At the same time, be present in the moment and don’t let anger, fear, or hardened expectations take over your mind.  

In the end, Karl says, he realized that he didn’t need a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow to be happy. He was the pot of gold.  He had the power to actualize all of his hopes and dreams and achieve ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment. Karl counsels that you, too, can be your own happy ending, whether you’re married, divorced, or single; whether you’re straight, gay, or anywhere in between. Happiness is your internal gold—dig for it and you will find it.

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LIVE JOYFULLY WITH SOUL STATEMENTS. WELCOMING COREY LYON FOLSOM, RENOWNED SPIRITUAL TEACHER

Do you ever feel like your mind is controlling you with negativity, doubt, and fear?  If so, then there is a solution for you. It is called “Soul Statements,” simple phrases you can incorporate into your daily thinking that will lift you from despair and frustration into joy and love.  Our guest on Love University, Corey Folsom, is an enlightened relationship coach, spiritual leader, and author (Soul Statements: A Love Coach's Guide to Successful Communication: Folsom, Corey Lyon: 9798218188856: Amazon.com: Books). Taking us on a journey into the power of soul statements, Corey educates us with his life-changing advice on regaining your wisdom within. Here’s what we learned from Corey:

*Find your querencia.  In bullfighting, a bull may stake out his querencia, a certain part of the bull ring where he feels strong and safe. As humans, we can discover our own querencia by going emotionally back to a place where we felt strong, comfortable, and authentic.  Recall what you were doing, the people you were with, and how you felt during your time of querencia. Maybe, it was with a certain friend or loved one, doing a hobby or activity you loved, and you felt joy, peace, and comfort. Now, whenever you’re feeling anxious or doubtful, mentally (and physically) go back to that querencia—that zone of comfort—to re-energize yourself and regain your inner strength.

*Repeat soul statements to yourself daily.  Soul statements are a healing and comforting way of talking to yourself (“I am enough”; “I am growing”), instead of the self-bullying thoughts that may torment you (“I’m not good enough” “I’ll never get better”). Come up with your own affirming soul statements—write them down or record them—and repeat them to yourself regularly. This will transform your life and uplift your confidence and well-being.

*Have the courage to disappoint. You may fall into the nice guy or gal zone where you try to please others and are afraid to state what you really feel. When you do that, you often hurt yourself and your authenticity, and you feel disappointed in yourself. Remember that saying “no” is a powerful healing word if you feel in your gut that you need to say it.  The other person may be momentarily disappointed, but they will get over it, and you will stand firm in your beliefs—taking care of yourself so you can give more to others who really need your help.

*Uplevel always. Think of every act you do, however small, as a chance to do better and feel better. For example, when Corey brushes his teeth, he says to himself, “I’m keeping my commitment to take care of my teeth, my self, as an act of self-love. Self-care is soul care.” When you strive to do everything with love and care, and tell yourself that you’re doing so, you will start to feel buoyant and cheerful. Now, every day is an opportunity for growth and learning, giving you the energy and strength to help yourself and others.

There is a great power in Soul Statements.  How we talk to ourselves can make a tremendous difference in our relationships, finances, career, health, and happiness. When you’re supporting and loving yourself, through your thoughts and inner voice, you will transform your life from fear and regret to joy and optimism. By repeating soul statements to yourself, you will constantly improve and grow—becoming a more confident and loving human being each day. It’s a wonderful sight to behold to see your soul grow and your heart soar. Enjoy every minute of it.

HOW TO BE A COMPASSIONATE BAD*** AND SKYROCKET YOUR SUCCESS, WITH SEAN KANAN, EMMY®-WINNING PRODUCER, AUTHOR, AND STAR OF THE HIT NETFLIX SERIES, COBRA KAI, AND THE KARATE KID FRANCHISE

Is something holding you back from achieving your dreams?  Maybe, you’re being held back by negative people, or perhaps by self-defeating thoughts in your own mind. If that’s the case, then things are about to change. It’s time to kick the negativity out of your mind and become the most powerful and loving person you can possibly be. On our Love University podcast, we recently had the pleasure of meeting up with Sean Kanan, star of Cobra Kai and the iconic Karate Kid franchise. Aside from being an award-winning producer and consummate actor (Young and the Restless, Bold and the Beautiful), Sean has written self-empowerment books (wayofthecobra.com) and dedicated his life to showing students how to overcome obstacles and reach their dreams. Here is some of the wisdom we learned from this special interview with Sean:

*Be a Cobra. A Cobra is someone who is authentic, self-aware, empathetic, strong, and humble. They epitomize a blend of paradoxical characteristics that make them a Compassionate Warrior. They’re ready to fight to defend their principles and protect others from harm, while at the same time being compassionate, loving, and empathetic. Like the Mike Barnes character in the current Cobra Kai series, season 6, the Cobra can offer tough love and discipline, while also being an inspiring mentor to help others grow.

*Never compromise your character.  Sean tells us that reputation is what others say about you; character is what you say about yourself, and what you do when no one is around to watch you.  Guard your character with everything you have; it is the essence of who you are, your authenticity, your inner power.  With it, you can conquer the world; without it, the world will conquer you.

*Win the battle for your mind and be reborn each day.  You need to metaphorically die each day to your old limiting self (self-defeating mindset).  Every day when you wake up, resolve to be a better version of who you were the day before: wiser, kinder, more compassionate, more humble, tougher, and stronger.  Each day, you will let go of the person you were yesterday. If you fell short or made a mistake, today you will start fresh; you will do better. Today, you will forgive yourself for your past errors and create a new, more powerful, and more loving you.

These are just some of the life-changing secrets we learned from Sean on how to kick the problems out of your life and achieve personal mastery.  Be a Cobra, never compromise your character, and be reborn every day.  If you do these things, you will conquer your inner world and achieve your dreams as you help others achieve theirs.

NEWS FLASH: DR. AVILA AND SEAN WILL BE TOGETHER AT THE WYNN LAS VEGAS 8/30/24, UNITING THEIR FORCES TO HELP PROFESSIONALS MAXIMIZE THEIR PERSONAL AND WORK SUCCESS.  REGISTER NOW AT LOVEUNIVERSITYLOVE@GMAIL.COM FOR VIP EVENTS, BOOK SIGNINGS, AND Q & A SESSIONS. YOUR LIFE WILL BE TRANSFORMED.

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE FOR CRAZY TIMES: HOW TO SOOTHE YOUR SOUL AND LIVE WITH INNER POWER, WITH SPECIAL GUEST PHILIP GOLDBERG, RENOWNED SPIRITUAL TEACHER

It seems like we’re living in crazy times. Violence, discord, and discontent seem to permeate the world. Yet, there is hope and a silver lining. We can transform our pain into power by following certain spiritual steps for self-regeneration. Our guest on Love University, Philip Goldberg, esteemed spiritual teacher and author (philipgoldberg.com), enlightened us with practical lessons for spiritual healing.  Drawing from his many years of study with Eastern Mind-Body practices, Philip shows us a roadmap to love, peace, and goodwill. Yes, we can save our inner and outer world and live wonderfully—it’s up to us.

SHOW OF THE YEAR: BIOHACK YOUR WAY TO INCREDIBLE SEX, LOVE, AND ROMANCE, WITH JOHN GRAY, NUMBER ONE RELATIONSHIP EXPERT IN THE WORLD (WOMEN ARE FROM MARS, MEN ARE FROM VENUS)

Would you like to have amazing love, romance, and sex?  Now you can by applying certain simple “biohacks” (utilizing biology for health and happiness) to completely transform your relationships.  Our guest on Love University, legendary relationship luminary Dr. John Gray (marsvenus.com), educated us on male/female hormones and the power of understanding and appreciating our differences. With over 40 years helping couples, and as the author of the most trusted relationship book of all time (Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus), Dr. Gray illuminated our minds with his amazing insights on love and romance, as follows:

*Men and women need polarity to be sexually and romantically happy.  Polarity in relationships is the spark occurring between two opposing energies: masculine and feminine. According to Dr. Gray, men need to be more on their male side (generating more testosterone), and women need to be more on their female side (creating more estrogen), for sexual arousal and romantic love to rise to the highest levels. In romantic “pair bonding,” a man and woman give each other a benefit they can’t give themselves . For example, a man gives a woman a sense of emotional security/safety, while the woman gives the man her appreciation and feminine warmth and affection. These complementary energies then fuse to create sparks and attraction.

*When men are overly emotional they are on their “female” side—producing more estrogen. Getting angry, contrary to popular belief, is not a “masculine” or “macho” experience. When men allow their negative feelings to overwhelm them, they produce more estrogen. This is also the case when men indulge too much in pleasure or have an addiction.

*A woman can help a man replenish his testosterone.  She can ask for his help (this also raises her estrogen as well), encourage his “cave time” (when he goes in his room, office, or garage to engage in hobbies, interests, or activities), and appreciate his talents and accomplishments (“You’re so smart,” “Great job”).

*A man can help a woman replenish her estrogen.  He can listen to her feelings without judgment or trying to solve her problems (ten minutes), give her four nonsexual hugs a day (six seconds each), and do a five-minute task for her with a smile (something she can do for herself, but she’s happy when her man does it).

*Brahmacharya, sexual abstinence for a higher purpose, can be a healthy thing.   Dr. Gray was a celibate monk and practiced sexual abstinence for spiritual reasons. There is great power in giving your sexual energy “an upward turn”—instead of having physical sex, you can transmute or apply your erotic energy to do creative, humanitarian, or spiritual works. You can also invest your sexual energy in one adored, devoted, and committed love partnership as you and your partner create peace and greatness through your love.

In the end, the goal is for men and women to understand, respect, appreciate and love each other as the unique and beautiful souls they are. Together, we can create a path to a higher light and radiate love without expectation throughout the world.

THE GIFT OF SHYNESS: TURN YOUR SHYNESS INTO AN ASSET AND RULE YOUR WORLD

Are you shy? If so, then our latest show on Love University Podcast is perfect for you.   In Dr. Avila’s landmark book, The Gift of Shyness (https://bit.ly/4cEjgMb), he outlined the hidden gifts (talents) of shy people and how they can achieve romantic and personal success. As a shy person, you’re likely a deep, reflective person who is a good listener and empathetic to others. The challenge you face as a shy person is what Dr. Avila calls the Observer (or Self-Observer)—the part of your mind that makes you feel self-conscious and worried about what other people think about you (making you want to withdraw socially). The key to transforming your shyness into an asset is to diminish the Observer while developing more of your Actor, the spontaneous and natural part of your personality. With the right Actor-Observer balance you can rule your social and romantic world. Here’s more of what we learned about The Gift of Shyness on the show:

*Realize that shyness is really a gift. Up to 50% of the population is shy. Yet, for years, there has been a strong stigma attached to being shy. Shy people were known as “social rejects,” “wallflowers,” or “socially phobic.” In reality, shyness, used rightly, can be a great gift. As coined by Dr. Avila, the new definition of shyness is “a life-enhancing state of extraordinary social sensitivity and profound self-reflection.”  Embrace your gift of shyness, accept yourself as you are, and you can do wonders in your life.

*Vanquish your Observer.  The Observer is the part of your mind that is constantly judging and criticizing your social performance (“You’ll say something stupid; you’re not attractive or charming enough to win the hearts and attention of others”).  To diminish the Observer, give it a name and draw what it looks like in a notebook.  Maybe you call it “Weak Willy” or “Pathetic Patty.” Now visualize that it is getting smaller and smaller as you say to it, “Observer, you are nothing but a figment of my imagination. I will toss you out like yesterday’s trash.  Goodbye, Observer.”

*Access your inner Actor:  To develop your Actor, the spontaneous, natural, and fun part of your personality, think of an actor from stage or screen that you admire. Consider how they dress, talk, walk, and act. Now, in front of a mirror at home, practice talking like they do, adopt some of their facial expressions; you may even try out some clothes that remind you of them. Your goal is to tap into the spontaneous and natural part of you that “doesn’t give a #**” about other’s social approval. You won’t just imitate or copy the actor you admire, you will play with some of the characteristics you admire about them, while adopting your own personal Actor style. Soon, you will be free and natural—more charismatic and attractive than ever before—attracting the interest and attention of  the people you’re interested in.  

Yes, you can be socially and professionally successful, charismatic, attractive, and desirable—while still being shy. You can be confidently shy. You can be romantically shy. You can be powerfully shy. The key is to embrace the positive aspects of being shy while transforming the self-conscious parts of your personality. When you do this, you will be a fully integrated and balanced human being who can achieve your dreams and make the world a better place. Here’s to a beautiful and confident Shy You.

BLISS BRAIN: REMODELING YOUR BRAIN FOR RESILIENCE, CREATIVITY, AND JOY

Recent research into neuroplasticity has told us that our brains can change over time in a positive way. Through various techniques and exercises, you can restructure your brain to experience more beneficial and uplifting thoughts and feelings.  Our guest on Love University, Dawson Church, esteemed brain science expert, enlightened us on how to rewire you brain so you can have more joy, creativity, and success in your life. Here are some of the important lessons we learned from Dawson:

*Find the blessing in small things: When his home burned down and he lost his possessions and two beloved cats, Dawson learned how to be grateful for the smallest of things (he found a pair of eyeglasses that were scratched up, but usable). No matter how difficult life seems, counting the good things in your life can uplift your mindset and lift you from doubt and despair.

*Build the things that won’t burn in a catastrophic fire.  After the horrific fire, Dawson realized that he needed to focus on the things that won’t burn up in life: for example, compassion, optimism, and love. It’s impossible to burn these things because they are in your mind and soul. Concentrate daily on building up these powerful traits and you won’t feel at a loss when things go wrong.

*Engage in positive and productive activities.  In one study, subject using a smart phone app recorded feeling happier when they did a task, even if it was somewhat repetitive and routine, than when they were just sitting still and thinking about their problems. This week, find something you love to do—art, sports, music, working with your hands, being in nature—and lose yourself in it.  By doing this, you will have great passion and joy as you diminish your negative overthinking mind, known in the East as the “monkey mind”—the mind that never stops chattering.

*Take the 30-day meditation challenge.  As Dawson explains, his students agree to meditate for thirty straight days no matter what. He has found that a majority of his students become “positively addicted” to meditation because pleasurable brain chemicals are released. Once you begin to get over your resistance to meditation (and the monkey mind), you will find that the activity becomes self-rewarding and you want to keep doing it—feeling more refreshed, focused, and at peace the more you do it.

*Extend loving energy without expectation.  One of the best ways to rewire your brain is to give love to others without expecting anything in return. Smile at others, give them sincere compliments, help them with practical tasks, give them the gift of empathetic listening (listen from their point of view).  When you give love without expectation to others, you also give it to yourself. You become the healer as well as the healed.

Yes, it is possible to remodel your brain, no matter what you have gone through in life.  Develop a mind of gratitude, engage in positive and productive activities, mediate, and give unconditional love to others and to yourself. If you do these things, you are well on your way to having a beautiful and loving brain that brings joy, contribution, and success into your life. Here’s to your new Bliss Brain.