Invincible You with Dr. Alex Avila

DR AVILA ANSWERS YOUR ULTIMATE QUESTIONS: MAKE YOUR LIFE A MIRACLE

Would you like to turn your life into a miracle and achieve your dreams?  Now you can by applying certain time-tested secrets for living your best life.  On our latest Love University podcast, Dr. Avila answers reader’s most pressing questions about how to enjoy the Invincible Life—how to triumph despite the obstacles. Here’s what we learned:

*Shake with hands of love. Imagine that your hands have hundreds of individual loving minds.  When you shake someone’s hand, imagine that you’re transferring loving energy to them as they do the same for you.

*Practice “Right Emotional Memory.”  You may make the mistake of exaggerating the pleasure you received from a bad habit/action (eating too much), while forgetting the pain (feeling bloated; gaining weight). In this new approach you will remember the pain from self-defeating actions (binging on junk food), and you will seek the pleasure of right action (eating healthy and exercising).  

*Stop fearing the relaxation you seek. You may assume that tension is a power that keeps your life together (overscheduling; overuse of technology). Because you’re afraid to be bored or nonproductive, you don’t allow yourself to experience true relaxation and peace of mind. The solution is to take a “technology fast”—put away your devices for a while. Observe your feelings when you’re just sitting still. Part of your mind—self-defeating—will pressure you into checking your devices (“You’re missing something important”). Refuse the temptation and choose the right course of relaxation and peace—you will be happier and more productive in the long run.

*Realize the true battle is not “You against the World.”  When you feel discouraged or discontented you may think that you’re fighting against the world and other people (“I can’t get what I want”). In reality, it’s not “you against the world.” It’s You (Invincible Mind: “You can do it”) versus you (self-defeating mind: “You’re not good enough”).  The solution is to live from your Invincible Mind—the part of you that is at a high psychological level and can’t be harmed by the negativity of the world or your own mind. Think of your Invincible Mind like a pure waterfall of clear water that wipes away all of the dirt and negativity of the self-defeating mind. Now you are ready to live with full joy and creativity.

*To find someone to love, externalize your inner love. You may have chased other people and been frustrated that you can’t find someone to love (who loves you). Perhaps, you feel lonely and jump at the first person who seems somewhat compatible, only to find that you’re getting yourself into another relationship mess. The answer is to love yourself and your Don (God/nature given talent). Take a break from socializing and trying to meet a special someone. Instead, focus on loving yourself and enjoying life. Practice your talent, enjoy a new hobby, engage in a spiritual or meditative practice; spend quality time with close, long-term supportive friends and family members (including dogs and children). One quick way to eradicate loneliness in your mind is to help other lonely and needy people (volunteer, contribute). It’s true: The more you extend love to others without expectation, the more your loneliness will vanish. and love in many forms will take its place in your life.

The answers to life’s most perplexing questions are simple: Love yourself, love others, and love a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). On a daily basis, extend loving energy to yourself and others, build up your Invincible Mind while reducing the self-defeating mind, and take time to nurture yourself and enjoy times of peace and relaxation. If you do these things, you will be on your way to living a miraculous and beautiful life that leaves a lasting legacy for all to see.

For the Love of Dogs: Life and Love Lessons from Our Furry Friends, With Special Guest, W. Bruce Cameron, #1 NY Times bestselling author (“A Dog’s Purpose,” major motion picture)

When NY times bestselling author, W. Bruce Cameron, was on a road trip with his girlfriend, she shared some sad news: Her first dog had just died. She was crying and inconsolable. Then, W. Bruce was inspired to tell her a story about a dog that reincarnates and eventually ends up in heaven with his owner. The story became a beloved novel and movie (“A Dog’s Purpose, and sequels), and catapulted W. Bruce (wbrucecameron.com) as the dog lover novelist (he also married his passenger). Appearing on our Love University Podcast, W. Bruce shared his insights on the unbreakable love bond between dogs and humans. Here's what we discussed about dogs and the lessons they can teach us:  

Dogs and humans are evolutionary programmed to love each other.  In ancient times, the human-wolf (later dog) bond developed as wolves helped humans hunt and survive better. Those humans who worked well with wolves tended to survive and pass along their genes, while wolves who worked well with humans were taken care of and were able to reproduce.  Now, according to W. Bruce, in modern times, it’s in our respective DNAs to love dogs and dogs to love us.

Dogs give us pure unconditional, forgiving love.  People are judgmental, but dog’s aren’t.  A human will say to another, “You look terrible with that shirt,” or “You hurt me back in 2020—I can’t forget it.”   A dog doesn’t care what you look like; they will still love you if your hair is all messed up. They also don't hold grudges (you put them outside when company came), yet they are still super excited to see you when you come get them.   Strive to be the same toward yourself and others—forgiving, accepting, and loving.

A dog enjoys the simple pleasures. We live in a rush-rush society—multitasking, technology overload, trying to cram one more thing into our day.  Take a lesson from dogs—they enjoy the simple pleasures of the moment.  Even a car ride around the corner is exciting for them. When they take you for a walk, they stop to smell everything and really enjoy it.  Follow their example, “Smell the essence of life”—wherever you go, and whatever you do, strive to savor and relish the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of the experience. Slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Dogs fully accept everything.  Dogs are masters at going with the flow. W. Bruce talks about a dog that lost the use of their leg and were in a cart.  Yet, the dog was happy because it didn’t have pain and it could spend time with its loved ones. What a beautiful way for us to live as humans if we could accept everything that happens to us—as we find the silver lining in even the darkest of clouds.

You have a short life span—enjoy every minute.  The average dog has a lifespan of 10 to 13 years. Yet, in that short time period, dogs can pack a great deal of fun, adventure, love, and joy.  You can do the same. Realize that your physical time on earth is limited, but the love you create and share is eternal. Like a dog, you can be grateful for every “treat” you experience in life, and approach each moment of existence with joy and anticipation.

1. Bruce says the biggest concern of a loving dog is what will happen to their human after the dog is gone. Ultimately, W. Bruce’s dog books are about reunification and returning to the ones we love; otherwise known as eternal love.  This uplifted love can be between humans and each other, humans and a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature), and humans and animals.  It’s true that dogs are truly a great gift to our world. They teach us how to be generous, nonjudgmental, and forgiving. They show us how to enjoy the present without worrying about the future or regretting the past. Let’s face it: It’s a dog’s world, and you’re living in it. Enjoy.

CLICK HERE  tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON For the Love of Dogs: Life and Love Lessons from Our Furry Friends, With Special Guest, W. Bruce Cameron, #1 NY Times bestselling author (“A Dog’s Purpose,” major motion picture)

 

 

 

YOU WILL FIND YOUR PEOPLE: ELIMINATE LONELINESS AND FIND WONDERFUL FRIENDS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, LANE MOORE, AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN (”TINDER LIVE”)

HOW TO BE A COMPASSIONATE BAD A**: POWER LESSONS FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE, JOY, AND SUCCESS, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, SEAN KANAN, ICONIC ACTOR ON “COBRA KAI” AND “KARATE KID III”

Do you feel like you can’t get to the next level of your success?  Are obstacles, both internal and external, stopping you from achieving your dreams. If that’s the case, then get ready for a powerful mindshift into excellence and authentic power.  On Love University podcast, we learned valuable lessons of ultimate success from Sean Kanan, Emmy® winning producer, and talented actor and writer. Sean was the original “Bad Boy of Karate (Karate Kid III) and now appears on the hit series Cobra Kai.  In his new role as “sensei of your mind,” teacher and author, Sean (wayofthecobra.com), reveals some of the most powerful “mind hacks” to get you on the path to ultimate joy, success, and fulfillment. Here’s what we learned:

*Become a Cobra: When you become a Cobra, you are the most authentic, self-aware, empathetic, strong, and confident human being you can possibly be. COBRA is an acronym that stands for Character, Optimization (taking the best action), Balance, Respect, and Abundance. When you focus on developing these qualities, the sky is the limit for your joy and success.

*Welcome to the Kumite. In martial arts, Kumite stands for sparring as well as an epic battle. In the Kumite of your mind, your greatest opponent is “You” (your self-defeating thoughts: “I’m not good enough,” etc.). You can defeat the negative thought energies by being truly authentic, treating yourself and others with respect, and loving without expectation.

*Choose Your Hard.  Sean tells us that you need to choose the hard thing that will bring you the greatest results and contentment.  Marriage is hard, but so is divorce (even harder).  Working out is hard, but so is being overweight (even harder). Therefore, you need to decide if you want a little right pain now (eating junk food) and a lifetime of pleasure (great health), or a little pleasure now (tasty junk snack) or a lifetime of pleasure (poor health). The choice is clear; choose the little right pain now for a lifetime of pleasure.

*Live by Your Creed. A creed is a set of beliefs or aims which guide your actions. In the Kenpo Karate creed, it says, “I come to you with only empty hands, I have no weapons. But should I be forced to defend myself, my principles, or my honor, should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong, then here are my weapons, Karate, empty hands.”  Sean’s creed is to know who you are and never compromise your character.  Don’t act like someone you’re not just to please others. Your greatest gift to the world is to be who you are and shine your talent and love for all to experience.  

During his interview on Love University, Sean explained how he almost lost his life as he was beginning work in Karate Kid III due to a medical emergency. From that near-death experience, he learned the value of humbleness, gratefulness, and never quitting. One of the most powerful lessons Sean learned was “You’re enough.”  By embracing your strengths and recognizing your weaknesses, you realize that you don’t have to be anything different than who you already are. You don’t have to push, chase, or convince anyone to do anything. You can simply be your truest nature and extend your loving energy to the world.  That is your greatest joy and your greatest reward.

Be Proud of Who You Are: A Sister’s Love Story, with Special Guest Cara Mentzel, acclaimed children’s author and sister of Idina Menzel, Broadway and Film Singing Superstar (“Frozen”)

Are you proud of your talent and do you show it to the  world? Maybe you don’t quite believe in your ability and you keep yourself from shining. Even worse, perhaps you’re envious of others who are living the life you wished you could have.  In our latest Love University podcast, we discovered some answers to these questions from our delightful guest, Cara Mentzel. Cara is an acclaimed author (Voice Lessons, Loud Mouse), as well as the sister of Idina Menzel, “The Queen of Broadway” who has voiced iconic songs like “Let it Go” from Frozen. Here’s what we learned from Cara’s insightful adult and children’s books, as well as from her life experiences with her famous sister, Idina:

*Children don’t have to have a thing.  When Cara was growing up, her older sister, Idina, was already demonstrating her great singing talent. They asked Cara if she could sing (“yes, but not like her”) and what she wanted to do in her life (something big like her sister?).  As an adult, Cara advises parents to let children develop interests, talents, and loves at their own pace. They don’t have to have one “thing” they want to do when they grow up. They can try different things; experiment, blossom, and grow—life is an ever-changing puzzle of development and it’s important to be flexible and open (Cara became a children’s author in her middle years).

*Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.   One of the most important traits to develop is curiosity.  When you are curious about other people, you can make new friends.  When you are curious about life, you can learn valuable things.  Always be curious, learning, growing, and experiencing—it’s the best way to live.

*Don’t be afraid to be too big.  In her charming children’s book, Loud Mouse (co-authored with her sister Idina), Cara describes a little mouse who physically grows big when she sings. She grows so big that she knocks other kindergarteners down with her loud voice. She becomes afraid of her talent, but her little sister “Lee” (Cara) says to her “Do you think a star can choose not to shine?” Then her sister, Dee (the little mouse) sings “with a full heart… with my whiskers out proud. I sing it big, I sing it… loud.” In the same way, recognize and embrace your gift or talent from the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) and don’t be afraid to be “too big.” Maybe your gift is science, business, teaching, counseling, writing, speaking, working with your hands, persuading, entertaining, or being a caretaker (great parent). Whatever your  talent is, use it for the good of humanity .You were meant to be big in your own way and share your love and gift with the world.

*Sisterly Love can teach us universal love.  Cara said that one of her greatest pleasures in life is seeing her sister sing before a rapt audience as she shares the magic of her otherworldly singing.  People ask Cara if she has ever been jealous or envious of her sister. She answers: “What would I like better—to have my sister’s talent, or to be the sister who witnesses and feels pride at her sister’s accomplishments?” The answer, she says, is “to experience the joy of her sister’s talent and success.”  Cara also describes how her relationship with her sister reminds her of the beautiful Aspen trees.  Although they look like individual trees above ground, underneath, their roots are all connected, like one organism. In the same way, we are all individuals, but we are also one united support system. We are a connected unit of human consciousness and love.

*Let it Go. As her sister, Idina, sings in the beautiful theme song for Frozen, it’s important to let go of the past—our regrets, mistakes, and so-called failures. You may have been through a divorce, loss of finances, health, friendships, or lifestyle. Yet, it’s important to recognize that there are no wrong answers in life—it’s just you connecting with yourself, the world, and your Higher Nature. As the “Let it go” song says, “To test the limits and break through… I’m free.”

When you have a talent, you can feel blessed, but you may also feel vulnerable. People may say things about you that are not always positive. Yet, if you allow your talent to shine brightly, you will understand that the world needs you. By understanding the vulnerability that comes with strength, you can liberate yourself to be who you truly are. Sing and let your song resonate throughout the world.

HOW TO HAVE GREAT FRIENDS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST CAT MOORE, USC DIRECTOR OF BELONGING

Have you ever felt shy, lonely, or disconnected from others?  Now there’s a way to connect with others and have great friends.  Our guest on Love University, Cat Moore (cat-moore.com), USC Director of belonging, shared some insights on how to bring positive people into your life and feel a powerful sense of belonging and connection with others. Here’s what we learned:

*Make yourself “Tappable.”  Put yourself out there to interact with people. Go to public spaces, activities, and events. Smile at others, say “Hi,” pay sincere compliments.  Make yourself approachable and chances are someone interesting will start a conversation with you. If you’re shy or Introverted, start small. Say “Hi” to a couple of people and see how that feels. Practice your smile with others. The more you send loving energy into the environment, the more likely someone will respond favorably to you.

*Show Empathy and Listen.  Cat says, “Being listened to with empathy  is the closest thing to feeling loved.  When you’re with others, make sure you listen without judgement—put yourself in their shoes. Ask: “How would I feel if I were in their position?”  When you show up with loving intention, you will be able to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.

*Meet your friends in person. In our hyperconnected society, many people are overwhelmed with virtual relationships, but lack deep meaningful connections on a personal level.  Cat suggests that you meet your friends on a regular basis (weekly) in person if possible (homes, coffeeshops, outdoor locations). According to Cat, we need embodied experiences (not just zoom) to sustain quality connections. Relationships are a living organism that have to be fed regularly for true bonding to take place.  

Although we’ve become more of an internal society with more people working and entertaining from home, it’s important that we balance our social and self-care needs. If you’re more Introverted or shy, you may be perfectly content staying home and not interacting too much with people. Yet, it’s important to remember that other people may need you—your companionship, attention, advice, and love. Also, you can learn valuable things from others, and you can feel that you’re not alone in this big unpredictable world. Love and be loved. That is the essence of human connection. It’s simple, but if you do it, you will achieve a great sense of belonging, peace, and joy.

”I’M NOT BROKEN”: THE MIRACULOUS LIFE STORY OF JESSE LEON: FROM SEXUALLY TRAFFICKED, DRUG ADDICTED, HOMELESS, BARRIO CHILD TO HARVARD GRADUATE AND BILLION DOLLAR SOCIAL IMPACT CONSULTANT

There once was a lion cub who got separated from his mother. A sheep found him and took him in as her own. The lion cub grew into a lion and one day an amazing thing happened. In the distance, he heard the roar of a lion. Suddenly, something powerful emerged within the lost lion—surprising himself, he started roaring as well.  Realizing his destiny, he left his sheep mother without looking back and went in search of his lion heritage. In a similar way, our guest on Love University, Jesse Leon, underwent an amazing transformation to discover his inner lion. Raised in a horrific environment of sexual abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, and hopelessness, Jesse awakened to his true nature by graduating from prestigious universities and making a tremendous impact on his community and the world. He also embraced his authentic nature as a gay Latino male who wants to inspire others to shine their light and love to their communities. We were honored to hear his story, as described in his bestselling memoir, I’m Not Broken (https://rb.gy/uruyp). Here’s what we learned from Jesse:

Channel Your Inner Nerd:  We all have innate intelligence.  You’re smart and resilient no matter where you come from and what you’ve been through. You just need to code switch—apply your knowledge and experience to the environment you’re in and do it for the good of all.

Be Ready for Unexpected Mentors:  Be open for moments of magic when remarkable people come into your life to help you. They may not look like individuals you expect to help you, but they can help transform your life if you let them.

Just Go For It: If you have a desire, don’t think twice, just go for it. Jesse thought his ceiling was to graduate from community college (cosmetology), but he didn’t realize that he could do much more.  With motivating people to guide him, he applied to UC Berkeley and Harvard, and graduated from these prestigious institutions. Jesse says that if you want something, just put yourself out there. Go for it, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you accomplished it.

Jesse’s message can be summarized in a simple phrase: Don’t Stop Until the Miracle Happens.  No one gave Jesse a chance, but he found faith, friendship, and hope in embracing his true authenticity and power within. You can do the same. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter where you come from, You Are Not Broken. You are perfect just the way are. Embrace yourself, love yourself, and extend your love to others without expectation. Nothing can stop you now.

LOVE, LIES, AND LAMENTS: THE AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONAL STORY OF RAPPER AND PRODUCER DANIEL, 3D PEREZ

What would you do if the one you loved cheated on you with their ex and then a gun was pulled on you?  And what if your mind’s expectations of what your parent wanted you to do drove you to think about jumping off a building and ending your life? Sounds hopeless and miserable. Yet, our guest on Love University, Daniel Perez, 3D, overcame all of these challenges to become an up and coming producer, MC, and rapper who is happy to share his amazing story of acceptance, authenticity, and transformation. Listen as Dr. Avila helps Daniel see the beauty of his own inner nature and find the love inside he has been searching for all his life.   

LIVE THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE: ACHIEVE YOUR WILDEST DREAMS

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You can live the most amazing life possible, despite any setbacks, obstacles, or problems you may face. On our Love University podcast, we learned the secrets of impeccable living and reaching your most treasured goals.  Here’s what we learned:

*Claim your birthright as a King or Queen.  Remind yourself daily of who you are: A Queen or King by virtue of being a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). Claim your inner royalty and decide that you will live joyfully every moment of every wondrous day.

*Expand your Love Energy daily.  In the East, the vital flow of life energy is known as Qi or Chi.  On a daily basis, decide that you will express your positive and loving energy—smile at others, act kindly, listen attentively. When you extend your loving energy into the world, the world will reciprocate with good and wonderful things in your favor.

*Say “I am” and follow it with great things.  The words “I am” are very powerful. When you add positive and uplifting words to the “I am” sentence, you will be uplifted and encouraged.  Say “I am healthy,”  “I am rich—both materially and spiritually,” and “I am loved.” When you speak positives after “I am,” you can accomplish great things and live joyfully.

There you have it.  Three simple things you can do daily to live an extraordinary life:  Claim your royal birthright, expand your love energy daily, and say “I am” followed by great statements of positivity.  You’re on your way now to actualizing your full potential and achieving your deepest desires.   Enjoy every minute of your journey to the ultimate You.

GETTING YOUR SECOND WIND: HOW TO TRANSCEND YOUR LIMITS AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE

Have you ever given up on a relationship, career/business, or lifestyle choice and then later regretted it? Would you like to have more power in your life to persist and accomplish the things you truly desire? If you answered “yes,” your solution is to catch your second wind.  William James, the esteemed psychologist, coined the term “second wind” to describe how you can persist through obstacles and tap into a deeper layer of energy and motivation to achieve your goals. Runners catch their second wind after running for a period of time. They are able to enter into the mindset called “Flow,” in which they lose track of time, worries, and even their very body—feeling joyous and uplifted in the process. Here are some ways you can access the power of your second wind:

*Cultivate a Fruitful State of Mind.  Adopt a mindset of positive expectancy (“things will work out just fine”), gratitude (“I am thankful”), and meaning (“I have a purpose”). When you do this, you will be able to push through barriers easier to reach your goals.

 *Practice Kaizen.  Kaizen is a Japanese term that means “continuous improvement.” Every day strive to make small improvements.  If you want to get in shape, you may start by working out only 15 minutes, and then gradually increase your time and frequency as you feel the pleasure and gains of your workout.

 *Participate in Persistent Contagion. Moods and mindsets can be contagious. Study and learn from successful “Second Winders” who have overcome great obstacles in life. J.K. Rowling was a single welfare mom when she wrote Harry Potter and became one of the wealthiest authors of all time.  Thomas Edison, famed inventor, “failed” thousands of times in his quest for the ideal light bulb filament, but he never saw failure. He said he learned many ways that wouldn’t work so he could find the way that would.

*Have a Strong Back, Soft Front. Another term from the East, this means that you will have resilience (strong back) when you face problems, but you will also have compassion for self and others (soft front).  In this way, you are balanced and firm when circumstances go against you, while maintaining your sense of love and humanity along the way.

*Take a Second Wind Inventory. In a pad, tablet, or notebook, write down the times when you got a second wind. Although you wanted to quit, you didn’t give up on a relationship, business/career/educational, or lifestyle decision. By not giving up, you experienced something wonderful and beneficial. Also, for the next two weeks, push your comfort zone a bit to get to your second wind. Maintain that yoga position or fast a little longer, make that uncomfortable call you need to make, do less of the bad habit (excessive social media use) that drains your energy. Record how you feel and your results—you will find that Second Wind becomes more natural and ingrained in you the more you do it.

In the end, you will realize an important truth: The wind is always blowing. It’s up to you to flow with the wind—instead of trying to fight against it. Be like a kite who is taken up by the wind—soaring majestically into the skies as you actualize your dreams of love, joy, success, contribution, and legacy.

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