Invincible You with Dr. Alex Avila

Watermelon Hunter in the Land of Fools: Parable for a Worry-Free Life

Have you ever wondered why fear and worry rule your life?  It’s because you haven’t learned how to transform fear into power and worry into security.  In the Watermelon Hunter parable on Love University Podcast, you will learn the secrets of a worry-free life. The Watermelon Hunter is a tale about a wise man who helped a land of foolish and worried people find peace and security. Now sit back, relax, and listen as you uncover the time-honored mystery of ultimate confidence, love, and joy.

Compulsion Thought Demon: How to Overcome the Never-Ending Chase for Nothing

Have you ever wanted something badly that you knew was no good for you?  Perhaps, you were addicted to a substance, behavior, person, or way of life that was self-defeating or self-destructive. If so, you were probably under the influence of the Compulsion Thought Demon—the damaging irresistible thoughts that compel you to sabotage your life by indulging in unhealthy behaviors and getting involved with toxic people. Fortunately, there is a way to overcome bad habits, addictions, and compulsive behaviors that you can’t control. On our Love University Podcast, we learned powerful ways to vanquish the Compulsion Thought Demon so you can pursue a healthy and satisfying life. Here’s what we discovered:

*Give Your Desires an Upward Turn. When you feel overcome by an overwhelming desire for something harmful (e.g. staying in a toxic relationship), you will give your desire an upward turn. In other words, you will transform your unhealthy desire into a healthy and uplifting one. In the relationship example, you will channel your craving for the exciting, but toxic, person into a strong desire for a compatible, high quality soul mate who provides you with genuine love. You will search for a quality and loving partner with as much intensity and desire as you pursued the unhealthy and toxic relationship. Now when you meet that wonderful person, you will feel a sense of joy and accomplishment.

Keep A Compassion Journal. In a pad or notebook, write down all of your harmful compulsions (activity, substance, person) and record all of the details you can remember about the compulsion. Write down when they occur, their intensity and ability to overwhelm you, how you feel when they first influenced you (excited, anticipating), and how you feel when you have indulged in the compulsion (letdown, regretful).  Doing this will raise your awareness of just how much compulsions rule your life and will give you a blueprint for how to eradicate them from your daily existence.  

Draw Your Compulsion and Imagine it Disappearing.  Now in your pad or notebook, draw what you think the Compulsion Thought Demon looks like—give it a color. Maybe you see it as a cloud of black smoke (smoking compulsion) or a red creature with a pointy head (road rage addiction). Now imagine that your Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) is lifting the Compulsion Thought Demon away from you—vacuuming the black smoky (or red) figure out of your mind permanently. Visualize that you are being cleansed of the Compulsion Thought Demon’s relentlessly craving and chasing thoughts, and you are becoming mentally free.

As you do these exercises, your mental burden will become lighter. Where before, you yielded to the compulsion, or futilely tried to fight it with your own mental willpower, now you can relax. You will let your Higher Nature fight the battle for you and kick the Compulsion Thought Demon out of your mind, once and for all. You are free at last.

Fear Thought Demon: Vanquish The Monkey Mind of Trepidation

Has fear and worry ever got ahold of you and made you suffer? If so, you were under the influence of the Fear Thought Demon. The Fear Thought Demon consists of self-defeating and exaggerated thoughts of fear: “Watch out, you will lose your money, relationships, health, and even your life.”  These attacking thoughts constantly warn you that bad things will happen to you in the future, and you will lose everything you value. The good news is that there is a way to get rid of the Fear Thought Demon once and for all. On our latest Love University podcast, we became acquainted with some powerful ways to vanquish unnecessary and exaggerated thoughts of fear and worry. Here’s what we learned:

*Rewire Your Brain From Rabbit to Lion. In nature, the lion is powerful and confident; it sleeps a lot because it has little to fear from other animals. The rabbit, on the other hand, is on every animal’s menu. They are always scurrying around, fearful they will be eaten at a moment’s notice. If you’re like a fearful rabbit, you can become a fearless lion by associating pleasant and relaxed feelings with things that make you afraid, worried, or stressed. For example, let’s say you feel overly stressed at work and you fear you can’t do all of the work you need to do. If that’s the case, then try this exercise: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine that you are in a beautiful relaxed place in nature; perhaps a beach, mountain, or lake. Mentally breathe in the fresh air, experience the sounds, sights, and feelings of the gorgeous locale. By doing this, you will relax your mind. In place of anxious and worried thoughts, you will associate pleasant, relaxed feelings with your workplace. You will be happier and more productive as a result.  

*Play to Your Strength.  The theory of multiple intelligences tells us that individuals can have different kinds of talents (musical, kinesthetic, verbal, interpersonal, etc.).  You probably have one strong talent or ability that you can utilize to build your confidence and reduce your fear, worry, and anxiety.  Perhaps, you’re good with words, numbers, people, ideas, or machines. Whatever your greatest ability is, focus on developing and applying it as much as possible. In fact, your aim should be to spend about 80% of your time using your gift/talent and only 20% of your time (or less) on improving your areas of weakness.  However, chances are you may be spending a lot more time working on your weaker areas and not enough time on building up your strength—this leaves you weakened and fills you with doubt and anxiety. Focus this week on devoting a majority of your time working on your strength, and you will feel more relaxed and capable as a result.

*Use Fear as an Ally.  Realize that rational (realistic) fear can be a valuable asset.  Evolutionary psychology tells us that we developed the fight or flight mechanism as a protective mechanism. When we face danger, our bodies are filled with chemicals that enhance our ability to run or fight so we can survive. Therefore, some fear can be adaptive and helpful (“don’t walk in a dark alley alone at night in a dangerous area”). Yet many people exaggerate fear and are afraid or anxious even in situations where there is very low (or no) risk of danger or harm. Therefore, your task is to use reasonable fear and caution as a friend (“get insurance, watch your diet, be wary of emotionally dangerous people”), while still maintaining your faith, confidence, and optimism. When fear starts to become the Fear Thought Demon (irrational and excessive fear), you can put a stop to it and say: “Fear Thought Demon, go away; you don’t control me anymore. I am confident, loving, and at peace. I am perfectly fine and happy without you.”

Love University students, go out this week, and declare a Fear Thought Demon free week.  You will act like a lion, play to your strengths, and use rational fear as an ally for protection when necessary.  Along the way, you will counteract excessive thoughts of fear with thoughts of success, power, and happiness. Make your mind a reservoir of positivity, and you will never have anything to fear. Only light, love, and joy will fill your mind and heart—enjoy every day, every hour, and every minute of your life with the fullest appreciation and contentment.

FIND YOUR SOUL MATE AT THE MYSTERY DATING MASQUERADE: JOIN US ON FEB 10TH FOR A MAGICAL VALENTINE’S EVENT OF FUN, CONNECTION, AND LOVE

Would you like to find your soul mate for Valentine's Day? Join us for a special live event at Port's Restaurant in Corona Del Mar, Feb 10th at 7pm. On this special night, you will wear a color mask that represents your unique personality LoveType (romantic style). Then, you will mingle with other eligible singles as you learn the secrets of compatibility and partake in entertainment and delicious Persian food. At the end of the night, the masks come off, and you may find your compatible soul mate just in time for Valentine’s Day. 

 Get your tickets now while they last at Eventbrite: shorturl.at/dkrsu

See you at the Dating Masquerade!

FUTILITY THOUGHT DEMON: HOW LOW CAN YOU GO AND HOW HIGH CAN YOU SOAR: SECRETS OF SELF-LOVE

Have you ever felt down and out—sad, depressed, and feeling like nothing seems to work? If so, you may have been under the influence of the Futility Thought Demon—the critical thought voice that tells you that you’re a failure and nothing will ever change. Now there’s a way to conquer the Futility Thought Demon and soar on the wings of self-love. Here are the secrets of emotional freedom we learned on the Love University Podcast:

*Ask yourself: “was I connected to my joy today?”   Before you go to bed each night, reflect on the things that brought you joy during the day, perhaps, meditating or praying, communicating with loved ones, or enjoying some time outside in nature. Also, take note of the time you wasted on non-productive activities such as partaking in excessive social media or absorbing negative news.  Strive each day to do the things you love, and you will elevate your mind and soul.

*Do the difficult things first.  Make sure you handle the most important and emotionally challenging tasks at the beginning of your day. Make that difficult call, have an important discussion, do a crucial business task. When you get the difficult out of the way first, the rest of the day is easier, and you feel more confident and motivated.

*Access the power of positive habit.  Every movement and thought requires energy. To improve your success and inner power, you need to build up positive habits and decrease negative habits.  You can do this by managing the energy you expend in daily activities. For example, if you watch too much TV, you can move the TV remote to another part of the house so you have to walk to get it (spend energy). If you want to read more, put a book next to your couch in the living room to make it easier for you to access it. By doing these small actions, you restructure your mental patterns and accentuate positive activities that can help you build a better life.

*Give love without expectation. This is one of the most powerful secrets for vanquishing the Futility Thought Demon. Give kindness, appreciation, respect, and love to others—even to strangers. Smile, say “hi,” offer sincere compliments. Get to know other people in a deeper way; ask them questions about their dreams and values. Listen empathetically. When you do this, you not only help others, but you lift your mood from gloomy “poor me” to hopeful and loving “united we.” You see all people as part of you, and you as part of them—helping, loving, and growing.

Yes, you can defeat the gloomy and self-attacking thoughts in your head, the Futility Thought Demons of your mind.  You can do this by being committed to your joy, doing the difficult thing first, accessing the power of positive habit, and loving without expectation. By doing these things, you will evaporate futility from your mind and bring love, joy, and good cheer into every ounce of your being

THE BAD ME THOUGHT DEMON: HOW TO VANQUISH THE RELENTLESS ATTACK OF SELF

Do you feel shame, regret, or guilt for things you did or should have done? If so, you may be under the influence of the Bad Me Thought—the negative and critical inner voice that insists you screwed up, you’re a bad person, and you don’t deserve any better in life. On Love University podcast, we learned ways to eradicate the Bad Me Thought Demon—exaggerated shame and guilt—so you can live confidently and with peace and joy. Here’s what you can do to eliminate the Bad Me Thought Demon:

*Take moral inventory of your past actions and learn from them. If you made a mistake, acknowledge and learn from it. Maybe you hurt a loved one or messed up at work in a bad way. Resolve to apply the lessons learned to help you become a stronger and better person. You don’t have to beat yourself over the head constantly for your errors, blunders, and bad habits. You can grow from your experiences and move forward with your life.

*Affirm the Gift of Life. Instead of hiding from others and life because of the mistakes you’ve made, boldly enter the present and travel into the future. Embrace the gift of life and natural abilities you have been given by the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). Spend time with loved ones, do the hobbies and activities you love, and engage in a spiritual/meditative practice. Most importantly, shine your positive loving energy to everyone who crosses your path with a feeling of gratefulness and compassion.

*Catch others doing the right thing. There is an interesting psychological paradox. What we do to others, we often do to ourselves. When we condemn others, we are likely to condemn ourselves. When we forgive and are tolerant to others, we do the same for ourselves. To master the Bad Me Thought Demon, therefore, begin to reward people (verbally, affectionately) for saying and doing positive and uplifting things. Instead of being quick to judge, criticize, and condemn, develop empathy and put yourself in their shoes. Forgive them for their errors. With empathy, perhaps you realize that the person who made a cruel remark was having a bad day (family problems), and they are actually a decent and caring person. Strive to see the good in people, and you will start seeing the good in yourself.

Although some guilt can be useful to help you overcome weaknesses and remedy wrongs, the Bad Me Thought Demon exaggerates guilt and shame to humiliate and destroy you. The good news is that you don’t have to yield to its influence. While recognizing and learning from your mistakes, you can move forward to affirm the gift of life and help others along the way. After all, there is nothing for you to be ashamed about: You are human, you are free, and you are loved.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: You can bring more positivity and fun into your life by joining us at our Valentine’s Love Masquerade on February 10^th, in Port’s Restaurant, Corona Del Mar. On this special evening, you will have a chance to meet compatible singles and perhaps find your soul mate. Click here for tickets:  shorturl.at/dkrsu.

SILENCE YOUR THOUGHT DEMONS: VANQUISH YOUR CRITICAL INNER VOICES AND LIVE WITH PASSION, PURPOSE, AND POWER

There is a negative force that is out to get you. It is called the Thought Demons—the collection of all the negative and critical thoughts you’ve had in your mind since childhood. These include thoughts such as “You’re never make it. You’ll never find love.  You’ll never be financially secure. You’re a loser.”  The good news is that these voices can be defeated and you can live free from their malevolent influence. On Love University, we learned powerful techniques for eradicating the Thought Demons in your mind and finding joy and success. Here are the three steps of Thought Demon eradication:

*Identify the Thought Demon.  In a journal, pad, or notebook write down the name of the particular negative or critical thought that is tormenting you the most at the moment. Maybe it’s the “Money Failure Thought Demon”—telling you that “You’re a loser with money. You will never have enough.”  Draw what it looks like, with a certain color that represents its nature. Maybe, you will draw a skinny green goblin that laments the lack of money in your life.

*Talk back to the Thought Demon.   Tell it, “I am smart and talented. I can make as much money as I want. I am stronger than you and I can make you disappear.” As you challenge the Thought Demon, realize that it has no power to harm or control you. You can be the master of your mind.

*Develop your Love Voice. Your love voice is the part of your mind that is loving, powerful, and healing. It tells you that you can succeed and you are worthy.  To cultivate your Love Voice, think of all the love you have for your loved ones, friends, family, pets, work, and hobbies. When a Thought Demon tries to infiltrate your mind, think of all the good things in the world: the love between humans; the beauty of nature, and the great things that await you in the future.

The truth is that you can be free of the Thought Demons and get your mental life back.  All you have to do is identify the critical thoughts, stand up to them, and develop your positive, healing Love Voice. When you do this, you can rid yourself of the Thought Demons and regain control over your mind. You can live effortlessly, with peace, power, hope, and love.  Start today:  Say goodbye to the Thought Demons and say hello to your authentic and confident loving nature.

YOUR HIGHER NATURE:HOW TO ACCESS THE ULTIMATE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE

Would you like to have ultimate confidence, success, and joy? You can have it by tapping into the majesty and power of the Higher Nature.  Known by many names—God, spirit, nature, essence—the Higher Nature is the unifying principle of the universe.  It is the all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving entity that gives you compassion and wisdom. The Higher Nature is not merely a religious or spiritual concept. It is a living symbol for something good that exists in you and beyond you—providing you with a personal experience of the immense potential of the universe. On our Love University podcast, we learned valuable tips for accessing the power of the Higher Nature to transform your life. Here’s what we learned:

*Do prayer walking. On a daily basis, speak to the Higher Nature (pray) as you walk. As you do this, notice the beauty and goodness of life.  If you’re outdoors or in nature, look around and connect the concept of the Higher Nature to everything you see. If you see a tree, you can think, “Higher Nature, let me be big and strong like that tree.” When you ­observe a bird, you can remark: “Higher Nature, allow me to soar free like the bird."  As you talk to the Higher Nature in this way, make sure you express gratitude as you see the Higher Nature in everything—rocks, trees, sunsets, sun, moon, animals—and recognize the special ingredient poured into all things: Love.

*Infuse everything you do with love.  Think of the Higher Nature’s love for you in your daily activities. Brush your teeth and wash your face with love (be grateful you have teeth and a face). Realize that the Higher Nature gave you a great vessel (your body) that you can enjoy and grow with as you walk, eat, work, love, and connect to your Higher Nature.

*Extend loving energy without expectation. One of the greatest secrets of happiness is to give love to others without expecting anything in return. Think of your Higher Nature as a great friend who loves you without expectation. You can do the same for others: be kind, loving, and compassionate; smile at them, listen to them empathetically, and give from your heart, mind, and soul. You will do all of this without expecting anything in return, not even a smile or thank you. In this way, you enter a mental place of loving unity and oneness in which balance, peace, power, and love become your daily companions.

How do you access the Higher Nature? By realizing that the Higher Nature, at its core, is the culmination of all the love, goodness, mercy, peace, and power in the universe. When you see a young couple in love, or a newborn baby, you see the Higher Nature. When you see a person saying goodbye to their loved one (dying), you see the Higher Nature. With your new Higher Nature perspective, you perceive all people and all things as innately exquisite and beautiful—creations of the Higher Nature. Now you can move beyond a limited perception and see love in yourself, others, and the Higher Nature. Now all will be well in your inner and outer world. You are free.

FROM SHY NERD TO CONFIDENT LADIES MAN, PART TWO: WE WELCOME BACK REGGIE, OUR BELOVED LOVE UNIVERSITY PRODUCER, AND HEAR MORE ABOUT HIS AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONAL STORY

On our recent Love University episode, we welcomed back (in person and via flashbacks) our beloved former producer, Reggie.  Reggie first came to us as an autistic, college-educated young man who was shy and had terrible luck with women. Now thirty, and never having a relationship with a woman, Reggie received dating advice from our Love University faculty of world-renowned matchmakers and love experts. Over the course of four years with the show, Reggie gained confidence in his dating and relationship skills, and is now on his way to finding the love of his life. In this retrospective, we pay honor to Reggie, and send him loving energy for an amazing future of love and happiness.  Bon Voyage, Reggie, may your love be deep and your happiness everlasting.

Sincerely Dr. Alex Avila and the Love University Podcast Team

LOVE WARRIOR, PART TWO: HOW TO BE INTELLIGENTLY SELFLESS AND RULE YOUR WORLD

Would you like to rule your world?  To have such power and mastery over your own mind and life that you can achieve your dreams and help others reach theirs? If the answer is “yes,” then you need to become a Love Warrior—a person who is strong, confident, and fearless, while at the same time.  loving, empathetic, and compassionate.  On Part Two of our Love Warrior (LW) series, we learned  how to develop the amazing LW skill of Intelligent Selflessness—self-confidence and self-love combined with forgetfulness of self and loving and serving others.  Here’s what you need to do to be an unstoppable Love Warrior who has Intelligent Selflessness:

*Do small good deeds.  Open the door for someone, help an elderly person cross the street, listen to a hurting friend, help a needy person.  When you do these small selfless acts, you build your internal enthusiasm and confidence for doing more for others as you uplift your own spirit in the process.

*Take pleasure in the success of others.  The best way to defeat the cloud of envy is to be happy when others succeed.  When you do this, you realize that the Universe is an abundant place that has more than enough resources for everyone, including you. Learn from other people’s successes and you will be successful as well, in your own way.

*Find selfless mentors.  Study the lives of people—current or historical figures—who have made a great impact on the world through their selflessness and desire to help others. Model yourself after these inspiring individuals (Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Malala Yousafzai, people you know personally). Smile as they smiled, use humor like they did. Imitate their actions by bringing hope to the hopeless, food to the hungry, and love to the loveless.

*Lose your desire for time hoarding. In our busy world, many people think, “I don’t have time to help others; I barely have enough time for myself and my loved ones.”  This is the wrong way to think.  When you’re a Love Warrior, you realize that loving and serving others is the best possible use of your time. Although you practice self-care and meet the needs of your loved ones, you also make the time to extend love and support to others around you. You pause from your day to smile and say “hello,” listen attentively to hurting people, and do what you can to alleviate suffering. By doing this, you will not only help others, but you will also slow down and bring more calmness, relaxation, and contentment into your life.

When you become the Love Warrior, you will disarm aggression and fear, and you will create an atmosphere of peace, harmony, and understanding. At the same time, you will not be a pushover—you will know when to fight and stand your ground—as you vanquish cruelty and injustice. You will also know when to yield, serve, and give.  In the end, your shield is understanding and your sword is love. Your ultimate aim as a Love Warrior is to bring harmony and love to the world, one person at a time.