Invincible You with Dr. Alex Avila

HOW TO HAVE GREAT FRIENDS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST CAT MOORE, USC DIRECTOR OF BELONGING

Have you ever felt shy, lonely, or disconnected from others?  Now there’s a way to connect with others and have great friends.  Our guest on Love University, Cat Moore (cat-moore.com), USC Director of belonging, shared some insights on how to bring positive people into your life and feel a powerful sense of belonging and connection with others. Here’s what we learned:

*Make yourself “Tappable.”  Put yourself out there to interact with people. Go to public spaces, activities, and events. Smile at others, say “Hi,” pay sincere compliments.  Make yourself approachable and chances are someone interesting will start a conversation with you. If you’re shy or Introverted, start small. Say “Hi” to a couple of people and see how that feels. Practice your smile with others. The more you send loving energy into the environment, the more likely someone will respond favorably to you.

*Show Empathy and Listen.  Cat says, “Being listened to with empathy  is the closest thing to feeling loved.  When you’re with others, make sure you listen without judgement—put yourself in their shoes. Ask: “How would I feel if I were in their position?”  When you show up with loving intention, you will be able to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.

*Meet your friends in person. In our hyperconnected society, many people are overwhelmed with virtual relationships, but lack deep meaningful connections on a personal level.  Cat suggests that you meet your friends on a regular basis (weekly) in person if possible (homes, coffeeshops, outdoor locations). According to Cat, we need embodied experiences (not just zoom) to sustain quality connections. Relationships are a living organism that have to be fed regularly for true bonding to take place.  

Although we’ve become more of an internal society with more people working and entertaining from home, it’s important that we balance our social and self-care needs. If you’re more Introverted or shy, you may be perfectly content staying home and not interacting too much with people. Yet, it’s important to remember that other people may need you—your companionship, attention, advice, and love. Also, you can learn valuable things from others, and you can feel that you’re not alone in this big unpredictable world. Love and be loved. That is the essence of human connection. It’s simple, but if you do it, you will achieve a great sense of belonging, peace, and joy.

”I’M NOT BROKEN”: THE MIRACULOUS LIFE STORY OF JESSE LEON: FROM SEXUALLY TRAFFICKED, DRUG ADDICTED, HOMELESS, BARRIO CHILD TO HARVARD GRADUATE AND BILLION DOLLAR SOCIAL IMPACT CONSULTANT

There once was a lion cub who got separated from his mother. A sheep found him and took him in as her own. The lion cub grew into a lion and one day an amazing thing happened. In the distance, he heard the roar of a lion. Suddenly, something powerful emerged within the lost lion—surprising himself, he started roaring as well.  Realizing his destiny, he left his sheep mother without looking back and went in search of his lion heritage. In a similar way, our guest on Love University, Jesse Leon, underwent an amazing transformation to discover his inner lion. Raised in a horrific environment of sexual abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, and hopelessness, Jesse awakened to his true nature by graduating from prestigious universities and making a tremendous impact on his community and the world. He also embraced his authentic nature as a gay Latino male who wants to inspire others to shine their light and love to their communities. We were honored to hear his story, as described in his bestselling memoir, I’m Not Broken (https://rb.gy/uruyp). Here’s what we learned from Jesse:

Channel Your Inner Nerd:  We all have innate intelligence.  You’re smart and resilient no matter where you come from and what you’ve been through. You just need to code switch—apply your knowledge and experience to the environment you’re in and do it for the good of all.

Be Ready for Unexpected Mentors:  Be open for moments of magic when remarkable people come into your life to help you. They may not look like individuals you expect to help you, but they can help transform your life if you let them.

Just Go For It: If you have a desire, don’t think twice, just go for it. Jesse thought his ceiling was to graduate from community college (cosmetology), but he didn’t realize that he could do much more.  With motivating people to guide him, he applied to UC Berkeley and Harvard, and graduated from these prestigious institutions. Jesse says that if you want something, just put yourself out there. Go for it, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you accomplished it.

Jesse’s message can be summarized in a simple phrase: Don’t Stop Until the Miracle Happens.  No one gave Jesse a chance, but he found faith, friendship, and hope in embracing his true authenticity and power within. You can do the same. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter where you come from, You Are Not Broken. You are perfect just the way are. Embrace yourself, love yourself, and extend your love to others without expectation. Nothing can stop you now.

LOVE, LIES, AND LAMENTS: THE AMAZING TRANSFORMATIONAL STORY OF RAPPER AND PRODUCER DANIEL, 3D PEREZ

What would you do if the one you loved cheated on you with their ex and then a gun was pulled on you?  And what if your mind’s expectations of what your parent wanted you to do drove you to think about jumping off a building and ending your life? Sounds hopeless and miserable. Yet, our guest on Love University, Daniel Perez, 3D, overcame all of these challenges to become an up and coming producer, MC, and rapper who is happy to share his amazing story of acceptance, authenticity, and transformation. Listen as Dr. Avila helps Daniel see the beauty of his own inner nature and find the love inside he has been searching for all his life.   

LIVE THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE: ACHIEVE YOUR WILDEST DREAMS

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR LIVE EVENT TICKET TO “THE LOVE MASQUERADE ON APRIL 6^THshorturl.at/pFOQ2

 

You can live the most amazing life possible, despite any setbacks, obstacles, or problems you may face. On our Love University podcast, we learned the secrets of impeccable living and reaching your most treasured goals.  Here’s what we learned:

*Claim your birthright as a King or Queen.  Remind yourself daily of who you are: A Queen or King by virtue of being a creation of the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). Claim your inner royalty and decide that you will live joyfully every moment of every wondrous day.

*Expand your Love Energy daily.  In the East, the vital flow of life energy is known as Qi or Chi.  On a daily basis, decide that you will express your positive and loving energy—smile at others, act kindly, listen attentively. When you extend your loving energy into the world, the world will reciprocate with good and wonderful things in your favor.

*Say “I am” and follow it with great things.  The words “I am” are very powerful. When you add positive and uplifting words to the “I am” sentence, you will be uplifted and encouraged.  Say “I am healthy,”  “I am rich—both materially and spiritually,” and “I am loved.” When you speak positives after “I am,” you can accomplish great things and live joyfully.

There you have it.  Three simple things you can do daily to live an extraordinary life:  Claim your royal birthright, expand your love energy daily, and say “I am” followed by great statements of positivity.  You’re on your way now to actualizing your full potential and achieving your deepest desires.   Enjoy every minute of your journey to the ultimate You.

GETTING YOUR SECOND WIND: HOW TO TRANSCEND YOUR LIMITS AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE

Have you ever given up on a relationship, career/business, or lifestyle choice and then later regretted it? Would you like to have more power in your life to persist and accomplish the things you truly desire? If you answered “yes,” your solution is to catch your second wind.  William James, the esteemed psychologist, coined the term “second wind” to describe how you can persist through obstacles and tap into a deeper layer of energy and motivation to achieve your goals. Runners catch their second wind after running for a period of time. They are able to enter into the mindset called “Flow,” in which they lose track of time, worries, and even their very body—feeling joyous and uplifted in the process. Here are some ways you can access the power of your second wind:

*Cultivate a Fruitful State of Mind.  Adopt a mindset of positive expectancy (“things will work out just fine”), gratitude (“I am thankful”), and meaning (“I have a purpose”). When you do this, you will be able to push through barriers easier to reach your goals.

 *Practice Kaizen.  Kaizen is a Japanese term that means “continuous improvement.” Every day strive to make small improvements.  If you want to get in shape, you may start by working out only 15 minutes, and then gradually increase your time and frequency as you feel the pleasure and gains of your workout.

 *Participate in Persistent Contagion. Moods and mindsets can be contagious. Study and learn from successful “Second Winders” who have overcome great obstacles in life. J.K. Rowling was a single welfare mom when she wrote Harry Potter and became one of the wealthiest authors of all time.  Thomas Edison, famed inventor, “failed” thousands of times in his quest for the ideal light bulb filament, but he never saw failure. He said he learned many ways that wouldn’t work so he could find the way that would.

*Have a Strong Back, Soft Front. Another term from the East, this means that you will have resilience (strong back) when you face problems, but you will also have compassion for self and others (soft front).  In this way, you are balanced and firm when circumstances go against you, while maintaining your sense of love and humanity along the way.

*Take a Second Wind Inventory. In a pad, tablet, or notebook, write down the times when you got a second wind. Although you wanted to quit, you didn’t give up on a relationship, business/career/educational, or lifestyle decision. By not giving up, you experienced something wonderful and beneficial. Also, for the next two weeks, push your comfort zone a bit to get to your second wind. Maintain that yoga position or fast a little longer, make that uncomfortable call you need to make, do less of the bad habit (excessive social media use) that drains your energy. Record how you feel and your results—you will find that Second Wind becomes more natural and ingrained in you the more you do it.

In the end, you will realize an important truth: The wind is always blowing. It’s up to you to flow with the wind—instead of trying to fight against it. Be like a kite who is taken up by the wind—soaring majestically into the skies as you actualize your dreams of love, joy, success, contribution, and legacy.

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR LIVE EVENT TICKETS TO “THE LOVE MASQUERADE ON APRIL 6^THshorturl.at/pFOQ2

Love Your Work, Love Your Life: How to Make Your Life An Absolute Joy

Do you love your work or is it mainly a way to make a living? Now there’s a way to love your work and make as much money as you need. On our Love University Podcast, we explored the secrets of doing work you love and achieving everything you desire.  Here’s what we learned:

*Tap into your Don. You Don is your Higher Nature (God/nature)—given talent.  Perhaps you’re gifted in writing, entertaining, caretaking, teaching, science, business, hands-on crafts, mechanics, or the like.  When doing an activity, ask yourself: “Does this activity make my heart sing and my spirit soar?” If it does, then it is your Don. Once you discover your Don, devote as much of your time to developing it as you can. When you tap into your Don, your self-esteem and self-confidence increases and you realize that your Don, used rightly, can be part of the restoration of the earth.

*Give the fruits of Your Don to the Higher Nature.  After you’ve discovered and developed your Don, your next step is to mentally give the fruits or results of your Don (money, accolades, status) to the Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature). In other words, you’re not working for the rewards of your work. You’re simply doing what you love to do and that is all. You’re giving away your talents in service to others as a result. As a result, you're no longer burdened by the expectation or pressure of earning a certain amount of money or receiving some type of benefit from your labor.  Now you can do infinite work without getting tired because you are approaching it with a lighthearted and loving mindset.  In turn, the Universe/Higher Nature will bring to you all of the success, well-being, and joy that belongs to you.  It will come to you naturally and abundantly.

*Express kindness in the workplace.  They say the workplace can be filled with hostile, gossiping, and conflictual people and situations. Although this may be true, your task is to bring the energy of kindness to the workplace. On a daily basis, strive to relieve the suffering of the people in your work environment, including employees, manager, customers, affiliates,  and business partners. On a regular basis, perform acts of kindness.  For customers or clients, you can offer an unexpected gift or discount; for service providers, you may give them an extra tip or bonus.  At the office, you can help a co-worker with a difficult task. You can also tell your supervisors, co-worker, and clients how much you appreciate them. In this way you create a “Kindness Chain” in which one person’s kindness inspires another to be kind as well. With this atmosphere of kindness and compassion, work satisfaction and productivity will be significantly increased.  

Yes, you can love your work and love your life. All you have to do is tap into your Don, give the fruits of your Don to the Higher Nature, and express kindness in the workplace. When you do these things, you will be one step closer to actualizing your true potential and using your gifts to uplift yourself, your loved ones, and the world.  As the famed Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran, once said, “Work is love made visible.” Now it’s your turn: Go out this week and make your love visible in the work you do as you leave a legacy of goodness, light, and contribution.

ANGER THOUGHT DEMON: MASTERING THE PUPPET MASTER OF FURY

Have you ever lost your temper and said and did things you later regretted?  If so, you were likely under the influence of the Anger Thought Demon—excessive and blown out of proportion anger thoughts that needlessly cause damage to yourself and others.  On our Love University podcast, we learned powerful tools for mastering the Anger Thought Demon and maintaining a mind of peace, calm, and love. Here’s what we learned:

*Analyze your anger triggers. In a notebook or pad jot down the things, people, and situations that trigger your anger (e.g. traffic jams, mechanical failures, rude people). As you become aware of the things that make you mad, you will take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from the Anger Thought Demon.

*Give yourself a space between frustration and reaction.  Take a time out when you feel yourself boiling over with extreme anger (perhaps an argument with a loved one). Take a walk, exercise, listen to music. Don’t react or add to the Anger Thought Demon at the moment it rears its ugly head; simply let the anger go through you until it is no longer in control.  Then, come back and pick up the activity or conversation from a more relaxed mindset.  

*Learn the Reverse Lesson. Observe angry people and do the opposite of what they do (maintain peace). Study those who are under the fiery influence of the Anger Thought Demon. See how their fists clench, their faces turn ugly red, and their voices become shrill or screaming.  Take notice of how they harm relationships and career/business opportunities through rageful reactions. Realize how much they suffer from their out of control anger and resolve that you will be different. You will be a calm, peaceful, and loving person who is in command of your mind at all times.

 

Although some anger can be useful to right wrongs and correct injustices, the Anger Thought Demon is a harmful exaggeration of your feelings of hurt and disrespect that can lead to self-harming actions. It’s true that many people in our society suffer from the Anger Thought Demon. The good news is that you can live peacefully in an angry world. All it takes is an awareness of the Anger Thought Demon and a desire to take the necessary steps to separate yourself from its fiery, destructive influence. Imagine a life of peace, love, and contentment.  This can be your life when you eradicate the Anger Thought Demon from your mind—once and for all.

 

Watermelon Hunter in the Land of Fools: Parable for a Worry-Free Life

Have you ever wondered why fear and worry rule your life?  It’s because you haven’t learned how to transform fear into power and worry into security.  In the Watermelon Hunter parable on Love University Podcast, you will learn the secrets of a worry-free life. The Watermelon Hunter is a tale about a wise man who helped a land of foolish and worried people find peace and security. Now sit back, relax, and listen as you uncover the time-honored mystery of ultimate confidence, love, and joy.

Compulsion Thought Demon: How to Overcome the Never-Ending Chase for Nothing

Have you ever wanted something badly that you knew was no good for you?  Perhaps, you were addicted to a substance, behavior, person, or way of life that was self-defeating or self-destructive. If so, you were probably under the influence of the Compulsion Thought Demon—the damaging irresistible thoughts that compel you to sabotage your life by indulging in unhealthy behaviors and getting involved with toxic people. Fortunately, there is a way to overcome bad habits, addictions, and compulsive behaviors that you can’t control. On our Love University Podcast, we learned powerful ways to vanquish the Compulsion Thought Demon so you can pursue a healthy and satisfying life. Here’s what we discovered:

*Give Your Desires an Upward Turn. When you feel overcome by an overwhelming desire for something harmful (e.g. staying in a toxic relationship), you will give your desire an upward turn. In other words, you will transform your unhealthy desire into a healthy and uplifting one. In the relationship example, you will channel your craving for the exciting, but toxic, person into a strong desire for a compatible, high quality soul mate who provides you with genuine love. You will search for a quality and loving partner with as much intensity and desire as you pursued the unhealthy and toxic relationship. Now when you meet that wonderful person, you will feel a sense of joy and accomplishment.

Keep A Compassion Journal. In a pad or notebook, write down all of your harmful compulsions (activity, substance, person) and record all of the details you can remember about the compulsion. Write down when they occur, their intensity and ability to overwhelm you, how you feel when they first influenced you (excited, anticipating), and how you feel when you have indulged in the compulsion (letdown, regretful).  Doing this will raise your awareness of just how much compulsions rule your life and will give you a blueprint for how to eradicate them from your daily existence.  

Draw Your Compulsion and Imagine it Disappearing.  Now in your pad or notebook, draw what you think the Compulsion Thought Demon looks like—give it a color. Maybe you see it as a cloud of black smoke (smoking compulsion) or a red creature with a pointy head (road rage addiction). Now imagine that your Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) is lifting the Compulsion Thought Demon away from you—vacuuming the black smoky (or red) figure out of your mind permanently. Visualize that you are being cleansed of the Compulsion Thought Demon’s relentlessly craving and chasing thoughts, and you are becoming mentally free.

As you do these exercises, your mental burden will become lighter. Where before, you yielded to the compulsion, or futilely tried to fight it with your own mental willpower, now you can relax. You will let your Higher Nature fight the battle for you and kick the Compulsion Thought Demon out of your mind, once and for all. You are free at last.

Fear Thought Demon: Vanquish The Monkey Mind of Trepidation

Has fear and worry ever got ahold of you and made you suffer? If so, you were under the influence of the Fear Thought Demon. The Fear Thought Demon consists of self-defeating and exaggerated thoughts of fear: “Watch out, you will lose your money, relationships, health, and even your life.”  These attacking thoughts constantly warn you that bad things will happen to you in the future, and you will lose everything you value. The good news is that there is a way to get rid of the Fear Thought Demon once and for all. On our latest Love University podcast, we became acquainted with some powerful ways to vanquish unnecessary and exaggerated thoughts of fear and worry. Here’s what we learned:

*Rewire Your Brain From Rabbit to Lion. In nature, the lion is powerful and confident; it sleeps a lot because it has little to fear from other animals. The rabbit, on the other hand, is on every animal’s menu. They are always scurrying around, fearful they will be eaten at a moment’s notice. If you’re like a fearful rabbit, you can become a fearless lion by associating pleasant and relaxed feelings with things that make you afraid, worried, or stressed. For example, let’s say you feel overly stressed at work and you fear you can’t do all of the work you need to do. If that’s the case, then try this exercise: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine that you are in a beautiful relaxed place in nature; perhaps a beach, mountain, or lake. Mentally breathe in the fresh air, experience the sounds, sights, and feelings of the gorgeous locale. By doing this, you will relax your mind. In place of anxious and worried thoughts, you will associate pleasant, relaxed feelings with your workplace. You will be happier and more productive as a result.  

*Play to Your Strength.  The theory of multiple intelligences tells us that individuals can have different kinds of talents (musical, kinesthetic, verbal, interpersonal, etc.).  You probably have one strong talent or ability that you can utilize to build your confidence and reduce your fear, worry, and anxiety.  Perhaps, you’re good with words, numbers, people, ideas, or machines. Whatever your greatest ability is, focus on developing and applying it as much as possible. In fact, your aim should be to spend about 80% of your time using your gift/talent and only 20% of your time (or less) on improving your areas of weakness.  However, chances are you may be spending a lot more time working on your weaker areas and not enough time on building up your strength—this leaves you weakened and fills you with doubt and anxiety. Focus this week on devoting a majority of your time working on your strength, and you will feel more relaxed and capable as a result.

*Use Fear as an Ally.  Realize that rational (realistic) fear can be a valuable asset.  Evolutionary psychology tells us that we developed the fight or flight mechanism as a protective mechanism. When we face danger, our bodies are filled with chemicals that enhance our ability to run or fight so we can survive. Therefore, some fear can be adaptive and helpful (“don’t walk in a dark alley alone at night in a dangerous area”). Yet many people exaggerate fear and are afraid or anxious even in situations where there is very low (or no) risk of danger or harm. Therefore, your task is to use reasonable fear and caution as a friend (“get insurance, watch your diet, be wary of emotionally dangerous people”), while still maintaining your faith, confidence, and optimism. When fear starts to become the Fear Thought Demon (irrational and excessive fear), you can put a stop to it and say: “Fear Thought Demon, go away; you don’t control me anymore. I am confident, loving, and at peace. I am perfectly fine and happy without you.”

Love University students, go out this week, and declare a Fear Thought Demon free week.  You will act like a lion, play to your strengths, and use rational fear as an ally for protection when necessary.  Along the way, you will counteract excessive thoughts of fear with thoughts of success, power, and happiness. Make your mind a reservoir of positivity, and you will never have anything to fear. Only light, love, and joy will fill your mind and heart—enjoy every day, every hour, and every minute of your life with the fullest appreciation and contentment.