Episodes
21 hours ago
21 hours ago
Would like to speedread your dates and quickly determine if they’re the one? Now, there is a way to do that by utilizing Dr. Avila’s classic LoveTypes system (lovetype.com). Based on the theory behind the Myers-Briggs®—the most popular personality test in the world, Dr. Avila’s approach to love finding has been proven with over 40 million internet users. On our Love University podcast, Dr. Avila explained two of the most important LoveType personality dimensions: Deciding and Organizing, as follows:
- Deciding Dimension: Thinker of Feeler? Thinkers make decisions primarily with their logic, while Feelers decide mainly with their emotions. Thinkers and Feelers often get together in relationships, but need to understand and respect each other’s style. If they don’t, Thinkers may accuse Feelers of taking things too personally, while Feelers tell Thinkers they are too cold and critical. A better approach is to value each other’s strengths. The Thinker recognizes that their Feeler provides warmth and emotional support, while the Feeler appreciates the way the Thinker can calm conflicts and provide logical solutions. To determine whether your date or romantic partner is a Thinker or a Feeler, ask them this question: “What’s your favorite movie and why?” If they choose a movie because of the way it made them feel, they’re likely a Feeler. If they choose a movie because of the way it made them think, they’re probably a Thinker.
- Organizing Dimension: Structured or Spontaneous? Structured people value schedules, organization, and being on time. Spontaneous people (known as “P’s” or “Perceivers” on the Myers-Briggs test) like to be more flowing, easy-going, and less attuned to schedules and too much organization. In relationships, when Structured people get together with Spontaneous people, they may have problems in a lot of areas, including time, schedules, children, sex, commitment, and money. Again, the key to a harmonious relationship is to respect and appreciate each other’s style. Structured people can value the Spontaneous person’s ability to get them to have fun and be more relaxed. Spontaneous people can be grateful when their Structured partner helps them get organized and makes sure they get to places on time. To determine your romantic partner’s style in this dimension, ask them, “If you were invited to Vegas (or a nice resort) tomorrow, a work day, would you go?” A spontaneous person would say, “My bags are packed,” while a Structured person would say, “I can’t,” or “I have to plan it out.”
It is said that differences make the world go round. Yet, certain differences in core values and preferences can make a relationship more conflictual and difficult. Therefore, it’s important to recognize and understand your love partner’s differences, especially in the initial dating stages before you fall in love and commit (possibly to the wrong person). By applying the LoveTypes system, and screening out candidates who are not compatible, you have a better chance of discovering your ideal soul mate and creating a love that lasts a lifetime.
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